Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 22 Talk To Me!

     Since I was a little pup one of my favorite past-times is to have someone read me stories. Recently my, Mom took the time to read me  Show Dog Sings The Blues by Devin O'branagan. I have to say that book is so free it makes you want to dance, and that is just what I did when she was done. Pleased with my joy, my Mom said that she knew Devin and that, this nice lady would happy to talk to me about her book and the dog she created an Australian Shepherd named Tali. I was so excited that I could hardly contain myself. Then I remembered that I was a dog. What do I know about interviewing? What would  I say? My Mom being the smart lady that she is suggested that I practice on my doggy brothers and sisters first then I would have more confidence when it came to talking to Devin and Tali. Below is the my first attempt at being a reporter.

First up I would like to Welcome Kc the oldest member of our pack.

Matilda:

Every one of us has our own interesting beginning. In Show Dog Sings the Blues Tali explains that she came to find her heart person. KC can you tell me a bit about how you came to live here?

 KC:

What Dear? You are going to have to speak up I can't hear you!

Matilda:

HOW DID YOU GET HERE?

KC:

I am here because you told me you wanted to talk to me.

Matilda:

NO! HOW DID YOU COME TO LIVE WITH THIS FAMILY?

KC.

Oh why didn't you say so in the first place? Well I was just walking down I24 with a half a mind to see if I could get to the other side. There were cars and trucks wiszzzzzzzzzz.

Matilda:

Yes? KC! KC! WAKE UP!

KC:

Oh I am sorry, where was I?

  

Matilda:

YOU WERE GOING TO CROSS I24!

KC:

Oh yes, then this car pulls off the side of the road and this man gets out. I run into the woods and bark at him. For almost a half and hour he just stands there telling me that I can come with him if I want to. He gets back in his car and drives away. I think to myself well, maybe I should have gone with him he did look friendly enough and his car looked really warm. So I start off running after him. Excuse me.

Matilda:

What are you doing? What is that smell can I sniff that too? NO! This is serious! KC Talk TO ME!

KC:

Sorry, All of a sudden there he was again and in his hand was the most delicious thing I had ever smelled a chicken sandwich.  I got in the car, ate the sandwich, and slept the rest of the way to my new home. He named me cheep chicken I have been here ever since.  Now if you excuse me all of this talk has made me tired ZZZZZZZZZZ.

Matilda 

Well thank you KC, I think! One down and four more to go. Hopefully the others will be more productive.

Well KC is asleep so I guess I will move on to my half sister Poppy Anne Bear The Chunky Monkey.

Matilda:

Hello Poppy thanks for helping me learn how to give interviews.

Poppy:

You said we were going outside to chase sticks.

Matilda:

We are after you talk to me.

Poppy:

Why can't we go now? I like sticks.

Matilda: 

I have to learn how to give interviews.

Poppy:

Why? Chasing sticks is more fun.

Matilda:

I want to interview Tali and Devin and tell them how much I like them.

Poppy:

You could just lick them that always works for me.

Matilda: 

You can't lick people though the computer.

Poppy:

Oh well then! Lets just go case sticks.

Matilda:

Oh Poppy please talk to me I want to do this right.

Poppy:

OK Sis ask your questions.

Matilda:

In Show Dog Sings the Blues Tali swaps places with her sister and gets to be a cow dog for the day. If you could change places with anyone who would it be?

Poppy:
Um...Someone who chases sticks?


Matilda:
Oh holy sock monkeys! Poppy you are dismissed.

Poppy:

Ya! Time to chase sticks! 

Well after a long time of watching my sister chase sticks I am ready to try this again with a fairly new comer to our family Moxy Fruvous.

Matilda:

Moxy thank you for taking the time to talk to me today.

Moxy:

You my love, are most beautiful when you are serious. I am lost in your big brown eyes and would do anything for you.

Matilda:

 Please Moxy, I like flattery as much as the next gal but I need you to pay attention.

Moxy:

I am sorry! 

Matilda:

Moxy, please you don't have to roll on your back  just sit up and talk to me. In her book Tali had to face her deepest fears. You have night terrors can you tell us about those?

Moxy:

I would rather not discuss that it is too painful! Is that food being served? Sound the alarm AROOOO! 

Matilda:

 Men! Their brains are all controlled by their stomachs..

I have one more chance to get this right maybe Tally Hall will be easier to talk to after lunch.

Matilda:

Thank you Tally for talking to me today.

Tally:

Um... Ya OK.

Matilda:

Tally please stop licking my ear and talk to me.

Tally:

OK Sorry!

Matilda:

When we have play time you are content to just sit and be held like a baby. Do you fancy yourself a pampered pooch like Tali?

Tally:

Well I like to be snuggled don't you?

Matilda: 

I am the one who is suppose to be asking the questions not you!

Tally:
Sorry!

Matilda

Oh Tally I am sorry, please don't go and stand in the corner and shake now. I didn't mean to yell at you. I do like to be snuggled.
  
Tally:
OK! Can I be done now?

Matilda:
Yes, Tally thank you. He, is a man of little words but he knows what he likes.


Well my interviews have come to a close. I did have a fleeting thought to try and  interview the cat but she hissed at me when I got close, so I  figured that it was best to just leave her be. I think that I am going to have to find someone that is a little more serious to talk to next time. Stay tuned.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 21 A Dogs Life.

     My day consists of the fallowing at 9 am I wake up and I am fed breakfast then I am walked on a leash out the back door. Between 10 and  2 it is a mix of licking my sister and sleeping with a walk in there somewhere. At two we are fed lunch and walked again. Between 2 and 9 we get played with and petted to our hearts content. Then we are given supper walked and put to bed.
      Until, recently I thought every dogs life consisted of these simple things eating, sleeping, potty time, play, and petting. Recently my eyes have been opened however and I am not sure that I like what I have seen. Sometimes my mom puts me in my cage on the back porch so that I can get some fresh air and sunshine. From that vantage point I have witnessed something that has scared me for life. There is a group of dogs close by that there entire existence consists of  doing laps around 10 x 12 cages. Once a day they get a bucket of food thrown at them and sometimes but not offten they get a run in play area. My mom says that these dogs are bread as hunting dogs there only function is to find raccoons. They do not get to play with people or get a jolly good scratch on there rump and they go potty were they eat and sleep. This saddens them greatly to the point that they bark and howl all day and night. This barking causes their caretaker to come and yell at them if that does not make them quiet he hits the cage with a big stick. On really bad days when the barking has escalated to such a crescendo that  no amount of yelling quiets them the caretaker enters the cage and hits the dogs with a stick. This causes the dogs to spend long hours whimpering and limping around their cages until the pain subsides where in they start their endless barking again.  I wonder if these dogs got some love if they would spend less time barking and more time enjoying the finer things of life.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 20 A blog dog!

     I knew that you might been worrying about me so I have taken a little brake from everything that I have been doing to give you an update. I know that it is has been awhile since I have written a new diary entry but I have been so busy.

     For starters I have this new blog site. Looks snazzy doesn't it? Mom worked really hard to move all of my entries over here so that it would be easier for people to read all about me! Next I am now on Twitter and I have my own fan page on Facebook. I have found that all those updates take time to write when you don't have any fingers. Next I am having my girl time again that means I am in pain, extremely sad and I sill can't find my babies. My sister Poppy the Chunky Monkey has been really kind to me. I don't mind her so much now that she is my bunk mate. She even cleans my ears when I whine and she keeps me company while I search the house over for those lost pups. Speaking of twitter. I am so proud, my mom was mentioned in the latest Devin O’Branagan’s Water Bowl Chat: Pets Who Tweet When asked " What your pets would tweet, if given the opportunity?" she said "My furbaby is already tweeting and she has more followers than I do.” and that I do He He.

     In other news, since I am now a grown up dog who can use the computer, I have found that I get more and more enjoyment out of sitting sphinx stile in the sun then I do running about. Poppy was playing with one of my human sisters yesterday and I just looked at them with my head to the side wondering what the big deal was, then I went and presented my aft section to my mom for a good scratching. When I am not sleeping, getting a good butt scratch, or tweeting you will find me at the counter surfing for human food. I don't understand why my humans keep giving me the stuff that I don't like and hording all the good stuff for themselves. I have tried to convey this to them by burring the nasty dog food in my blanket for Poppy to find later but they still give it to me anyway. Sometimes I get hungry or the if the Beagle Brothers try to take it, then eat it but I like to eat what I find on the counters better. This is aided by the simple fact I am a very tall dog who, when I stand on my back legs is nearly four feet tall. If I was human I could ride the veggie tales ride at Dolly Wood  that my human brother tells me all about. On a side note my mom just informed me that wouldn't be a good idea for me to do If I could since I get car sick on curvy roads. To bad it sounds fun. Well that is all that is new I will write more when something else important happens in the meantime don't forget to fallow me on twitter and Face book by clicking the links below.

Face Book
Twitter

Diary of Matilda The Sock Monkey Day 19 The biggest Happy Butt Dance Ever!

    Well after six months of living with Grandma in a condo I am finally home. There is so much to do and explore. I have done a giant happy butt dance though every square inch of this house and I have found out that outside is a whole other thing all together. The first thing that I discovered about my new place is that there are other four-legged creatures in the play area next door that Mom calls horses. They snort at me and run when I run. I have discovered they will even come up to the fence and sniff me if I am bold enough to approach them. I am a bit leery of them though so I think I will give 

    

    Today I found a hole in the fence, which I slipped through and went on an expedition to the neighbor's house and Mom and Dad had to come and get me in the car. I now have to be walked on a leash again. This is all right because I do not have to be hooked up in the house anymore.

 

    Well I am back in confinement today Dad says I have to stay in this room until they finish the floor in the big room. I have decided to teach them a lesson for locking me up again. With the help of my sister I will begin to pull all of the base boards off the wall then I will scratch the carpet till I make a hole and I will tare up all of the carpet pad. Sounds like fun right?

    

    I have completed my destruction just in time the big room is done and I am free now. Mom is only a bit mad at me for wrecking that room as they are getting new carpet and baseboards but she says I better not do that to the new stuff. I gave her my best “Who Me Look?”

    New carpet got installed today wow it is soft I keep rolling on it and rubbing head on it while running around in a circle. I have even claimed it as mine but I got a big spanking for that one so I will think twice from now on before tying that again.
    Update. My Dad brought home some weird things on the side of the road. He says they have stay in another part of the house and I am not able to play with them. I wonder what they are?

    Update. Today my Dad showed me the new things that he brought home after seven weeks and a trip to the vet. Yippee they are playthings. Mom says they male beagle brothers but I think they are just plain fun. We all run around the house and wrestle they know all about the best games. “Pinned ya again” “My head can fit in your mouth” and my personal favorite “Are your sure that back leg is not chicken.”

 

    Update: I got to ride in the car today when we took the trash to the dump and I didn't even get carsick. Dad says that if I can do that every time he will take me in the car when we go places. I can't wait.

     Update Mom got me a cage I was not so sure about it at first but as soon as she put the bed in it and the cover over it is a great place to sleep. The best part is at suppertime I can eat my food in peace and no little beagle brothers eat my food while I am trying to play with it.

 

    All in all I really like my new house and I am glad that I am here I am sure that it will provide me with lots of adventures that I can share with you all.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 18 Apartment life is not for me!

       I was really scared today everyone was running around our home moving boxes and stuffing things into bags. All my doggie sisters and I were hooked up with ropes and things we had a fenced play area and had no need for leashes. Even that four-legged scratchy creature that Mom calls a cat was put in a cage and we all got in the car. At first I thought this was great I love riding in the car, but if I had known where we were going I would have put up more of a fight. Instead of going to a cool place we moved into Grandma's condo and I hate it here. To start with I have to be walked on a leash instead of being let out into a play area. I have no place to run so I fixed this problem by figuring out how to get out of my caller and exploring my new world whenever I was being walked. Mom stopped that by buying me a harness. Next issue was that since Grandma thought that I was a puppy like my sister I had to be hooked up like her when I was in the house. I got her back for that one though my sister and I ate the wall and broke the handle of the door where were attached. Serves her right for treating me like a puppy I am two years old. It was not all bad though sometimes the kids came to pet me. My Dad even unhooks me, whenever Grandma is gone. I rewarded him by doing a very funny happy butt dance as Mom calls them. This happy butt dance entails me running around in circles chasing my tail then I dash off in one direction only to come to an abrupt sliding stop a moment later and change my direction I run back and forth for a while then circle again. This time off is not enough though; I hope that I get out of here soon.

Update:

I have decided to stop eating as a protest against being here. I am sick of being hooked up and Grandma and this other lady I have never seen before is always yelling at me. Dad and mom keep leaving and I am stuck hooked up all day except for when it is time to be walked on a leash outside.

Update 2:

We went home for one day then it was right back to Grandmas house. What did I do wrong?

Update 3:

Mom and dad have been gone a lot again and I have only been eating biscuits but we are out again.  I have decided I will only eat if someone hand feeds me. Grandma says today that I cannot be fed like that though and if I don't eat she takes my food away and gives it to KC.

Update 4:

Mom says that I am going to get a new home soon it has been so long I do not believe her and just look at her with my best sad eyes.

Update 5:

Rode in the car today for a long time today and I vomited all over Mom's shoes. When we got out of the car, I could not believe my eyes there was so much space everywhere.  We went into a building where my sister and I ran and played up and down the stairs in and out every door. Mom says this is our new home but I am not so sure as we all got back into the car and went back to Grandma's.

Update 6

Mom is loading our car like she did before and she says this is it. I get to move to the new house no more being at Grandma's. I think that will be grounds for the biggest happy but dance ever!

Diary of Matilda The Sock Monkey Day 17 Have you seen my babies?

            I have lost my babies there is no one to drink this milk that is dripping from me. I keep trying to get "Squeaky Lion" and a "Fur Real Kitten" to nurse but I just cannot find the right nest. I keep moving from bed to bed and then to under my dad's desk. I cannot fit all my babies in my mouth at the same time and have to go and collect them all one at a time. The problem with this is that when I leave them alone the little rat that my parents brought home keeps stealing them and running away.  I have been wondering around the house for days whining trying to tell my people that I am distressed. They just pat me on my head and send me on my way telling me that this false pregnancy will pass and that I will soon be alright. I don't feel alright. Today my mom set me up in her bed with my babies and a heating pad for my sore nipples. She even closed the door so Poppy will leave me alone. I do not think that this torture will ever end.      Well it has been almost two weeks and despite my doubts I am back to normal. I am no longer producing milk and, I do not need my toys as substitute babies anymore. Wow what an ordeal that was.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey day 16 Heads vs. Tails.

Well this new thing is apparently going to stay with us. It now has a name Poppy Ann Bear. I am still weary of it as we are total opposites. For example she is black where I am white. I am long and skinny where she is short and fat. She eats all her food as quickly as she can then makes a beeline for mine. I on the other hand like to take my time eating and play with each and every morsel. I like to eat poop she avoids it at all costs she won't even poop in the same place twice. I am calm and quiet, she is loud and hyper. I only play with socks she plays with everything. I took forever to be potty trained she is already potty trained and even asked to go outside. She also loves the water bath time is play time as for me I cower and hide. Plus she is always following, nibbling and copying me. When I take a drink she takes a drink she then licks the dribbles off of my chin. Whenever, I turn around there she is. I am constantly looking behind myself to see if she is there by then it is too late she has already in front of me biting my ears.

I do have to admit however that despite all of that. This new thing has grown on me. For one thing it likes to play more then KC. I have even discovered, that on many occasions it has worn me out. We like to both play to see who can stick each others head in their mouth. Then we role on the floor and kick our feet at each other in a doggy stile girl fight. Sometimes I will take a sock ball and run sprints back and forth across the living room. She will dash after me and try to steel it. When she does I wonder off as if I don't care. She will then drop the ball to investigate where I am off to. When she does this I grab the ball and do the dash again. As soon as I get tired of out running her. I simply jump onto couch with it where she can not reach me.

In conclusion I guess that since this thing smells alright and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere, I will learn to tolerate it. Well, as long as it stays away from my biscuits.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey day 15 Alien Invasion!

    Oh boy do I have a story for you. Yesterday my family left the den as they often do and I was left alone with my doggy sister. I was hoping this little hunting trip would result in bringing me back some biscuits. Well, to my surprise not only did they not bring me any biscuits they presented me with this other creature. I am not sure that it is safe and despite my best efforts to flee from it, I am constantly being followed. I keep trying to tell my Mom and dad to take this thing back and get me some biscuits but they just give me a scratch and send me on my way.  KC my doggy sister fallows this thing around growling at it with no effect at all. It just goes under her legs and toddles off on its marry way witch is usually strait for me. I have found however that it cannot walk on the hard ground only the soft so I stay in these areas of the den and observe it from a distance. This stranger is loud, bothersome and it gets to go out the forbidden door into the big play area. I don't like it at all and wish it would just go away.

 

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 14 Snow Day

Woo, ho, something fantastic happened this stuff fell from the sky and covered the ground. My Mom calls it snow but I call it fun! I love to play in it. First of all if you stick your nose in and run forward you can push it ahead of you to make a path and find hidden treasures. This is method is a great way to get around but my favorite way to get from one place to another is leaping because the landing is so soft and squishy. I never want to go back in the house I do however because I have a weakness for biscuits and when I hear that box rattle I always come running. My mom has even given up trying to force me to eat my food in a specific location. She has given me a bowl that I can carry to anywhere I choose to eat. This too is delightful as I can toss the food and chase it, then with a great pounce capture it and devour it. This makes eating so much more fun and I no longer try to hide my food under my blanket. As I finish writing this entry all my beloved snow is gone leaving me only with mud to slush through this I don't mind it is the being stopped at the door to get my feet and belly rubbed down with a towel. I do not understand what I did wrong? I was just trying to thank them, honest. I did not mean to get paw prints all over the carpet, couch, counter, and my dads white shirt. Just look into eyes to see I'm telling the truth.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 13 Dog on the Go!

  Well, I have been a very busy girl, as I have now been off my potty training leash for a little over two months. During,  this time I have found that my house is a great place to explore. First of all, there are many tall plates were I have found a plethora of food. All of which I attempt to sample by standing on my hind legs then pulling the food down to a suitable height for consumption. I have also found tasty nuggets provided by my next discovery. There is another four legged creature much like myself in the house, with whom I am very frustrated. You see despite my best efforts to get this thing to play with me it simply refuses. I have even brought this creature presents of tasty socks but my only rewarded for this gallant effort is a painful swat across my nose. This has not deterred me in the least bit however, I think I will continue to bark and taunt this strange creature but only from a safe distance.
    The next best thing about been off is that I get to sleep on the soft couch and anyone who happens upon me will stop and give me love. I will return this by standing on my hind legs and stretching up as far as I can. My dad calls this giving doggy hugs and I am usually rewarded with my new favorite word biscuit. I would do anything for those tasty morsels.
    Now don't get me wrong it is not always good to be running about. I seem to get into a lot more trouble. I am not allowed to run out the front door, eat off the tall plates, snack from the cat box, chew the other kids toys and must never touch the remotes and other plastic things, around the house. These are bed offenses. I am confined to my bed again until the next meal and potty time. These times of exile are well worth it however because of all the fun and love I enjoy while I am off.