Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 20 A blog dog!

     I knew that you might been worrying about me so I have taken a little brake from everything that I have been doing to give you an update. I know that it is has been awhile since I have written a new diary entry but I have been so busy.

     For starters I have this new blog site. Looks snazzy doesn't it? Mom worked really hard to move all of my entries over here so that it would be easier for people to read all about me! Next I am now on Twitter and I have my own fan page on Facebook. I have found that all those updates take time to write when you don't have any fingers. Next I am having my girl time again that means I am in pain, extremely sad and I sill can't find my babies. My sister Poppy the Chunky Monkey has been really kind to me. I don't mind her so much now that she is my bunk mate. She even cleans my ears when I whine and she keeps me company while I search the house over for those lost pups. Speaking of twitter. I am so proud, my mom was mentioned in the latest Devin O’Branagan’s Water Bowl Chat: Pets Who Tweet When asked " What your pets would tweet, if given the opportunity?" she said "My furbaby is already tweeting and she has more followers than I do.” and that I do He He.

     In other news, since I am now a grown up dog who can use the computer, I have found that I get more and more enjoyment out of sitting sphinx stile in the sun then I do running about. Poppy was playing with one of my human sisters yesterday and I just looked at them with my head to the side wondering what the big deal was, then I went and presented my aft section to my mom for a good scratching. When I am not sleeping, getting a good butt scratch, or tweeting you will find me at the counter surfing for human food. I don't understand why my humans keep giving me the stuff that I don't like and hording all the good stuff for themselves. I have tried to convey this to them by burring the nasty dog food in my blanket for Poppy to find later but they still give it to me anyway. Sometimes I get hungry or the if the Beagle Brothers try to take it, then eat it but I like to eat what I find on the counters better. This is aided by the simple fact I am a very tall dog who, when I stand on my back legs is nearly four feet tall. If I was human I could ride the veggie tales ride at Dolly Wood  that my human brother tells me all about. On a side note my mom just informed me that wouldn't be a good idea for me to do If I could since I get car sick on curvy roads. To bad it sounds fun. Well that is all that is new I will write more when something else important happens in the meantime don't forget to fallow me on twitter and Face book by clicking the links below.

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Diary of Matilda The Sock Monkey Day 19 The biggest Happy Butt Dance Ever!

    Well after six months of living with Grandma in a condo I am finally home. There is so much to do and explore. I have done a giant happy butt dance though every square inch of this house and I have found out that outside is a whole other thing all together. The first thing that I discovered about my new place is that there are other four-legged creatures in the play area next door that Mom calls horses. They snort at me and run when I run. I have discovered they will even come up to the fence and sniff me if I am bold enough to approach them. I am a bit leery of them though so I think I will give 

    

    Today I found a hole in the fence, which I slipped through and went on an expedition to the neighbor's house and Mom and Dad had to come and get me in the car. I now have to be walked on a leash again. This is all right because I do not have to be hooked up in the house anymore.

 

    Well I am back in confinement today Dad says I have to stay in this room until they finish the floor in the big room. I have decided to teach them a lesson for locking me up again. With the help of my sister I will begin to pull all of the base boards off the wall then I will scratch the carpet till I make a hole and I will tare up all of the carpet pad. Sounds like fun right?

    

    I have completed my destruction just in time the big room is done and I am free now. Mom is only a bit mad at me for wrecking that room as they are getting new carpet and baseboards but she says I better not do that to the new stuff. I gave her my best “Who Me Look?”

    New carpet got installed today wow it is soft I keep rolling on it and rubbing head on it while running around in a circle. I have even claimed it as mine but I got a big spanking for that one so I will think twice from now on before tying that again.
    Update. My Dad brought home some weird things on the side of the road. He says they have stay in another part of the house and I am not able to play with them. I wonder what they are?

    Update. Today my Dad showed me the new things that he brought home after seven weeks and a trip to the vet. Yippee they are playthings. Mom says they male beagle brothers but I think they are just plain fun. We all run around the house and wrestle they know all about the best games. “Pinned ya again” “My head can fit in your mouth” and my personal favorite “Are your sure that back leg is not chicken.”

 

    Update: I got to ride in the car today when we took the trash to the dump and I didn't even get carsick. Dad says that if I can do that every time he will take me in the car when we go places. I can't wait.

     Update Mom got me a cage I was not so sure about it at first but as soon as she put the bed in it and the cover over it is a great place to sleep. The best part is at suppertime I can eat my food in peace and no little beagle brothers eat my food while I am trying to play with it.

 

    All in all I really like my new house and I am glad that I am here I am sure that it will provide me with lots of adventures that I can share with you all.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 18 Apartment life is not for me!

       I was really scared today everyone was running around our home moving boxes and stuffing things into bags. All my doggie sisters and I were hooked up with ropes and things we had a fenced play area and had no need for leashes. Even that four-legged scratchy creature that Mom calls a cat was put in a cage and we all got in the car. At first I thought this was great I love riding in the car, but if I had known where we were going I would have put up more of a fight. Instead of going to a cool place we moved into Grandma's condo and I hate it here. To start with I have to be walked on a leash instead of being let out into a play area. I have no place to run so I fixed this problem by figuring out how to get out of my caller and exploring my new world whenever I was being walked. Mom stopped that by buying me a harness. Next issue was that since Grandma thought that I was a puppy like my sister I had to be hooked up like her when I was in the house. I got her back for that one though my sister and I ate the wall and broke the handle of the door where were attached. Serves her right for treating me like a puppy I am two years old. It was not all bad though sometimes the kids came to pet me. My Dad even unhooks me, whenever Grandma is gone. I rewarded him by doing a very funny happy butt dance as Mom calls them. This happy butt dance entails me running around in circles chasing my tail then I dash off in one direction only to come to an abrupt sliding stop a moment later and change my direction I run back and forth for a while then circle again. This time off is not enough though; I hope that I get out of here soon.

Update:

I have decided to stop eating as a protest against being here. I am sick of being hooked up and Grandma and this other lady I have never seen before is always yelling at me. Dad and mom keep leaving and I am stuck hooked up all day except for when it is time to be walked on a leash outside.

Update 2:

We went home for one day then it was right back to Grandmas house. What did I do wrong?

Update 3:

Mom and dad have been gone a lot again and I have only been eating biscuits but we are out again.  I have decided I will only eat if someone hand feeds me. Grandma says today that I cannot be fed like that though and if I don't eat she takes my food away and gives it to KC.

Update 4:

Mom says that I am going to get a new home soon it has been so long I do not believe her and just look at her with my best sad eyes.

Update 5:

Rode in the car today for a long time today and I vomited all over Mom's shoes. When we got out of the car, I could not believe my eyes there was so much space everywhere.  We went into a building where my sister and I ran and played up and down the stairs in and out every door. Mom says this is our new home but I am not so sure as we all got back into the car and went back to Grandma's.

Update 6

Mom is loading our car like she did before and she says this is it. I get to move to the new house no more being at Grandma's. I think that will be grounds for the biggest happy but dance ever!

Diary of Matilda The Sock Monkey Day 17 Have you seen my babies?

            I have lost my babies there is no one to drink this milk that is dripping from me. I keep trying to get "Squeaky Lion" and a "Fur Real Kitten" to nurse but I just cannot find the right nest. I keep moving from bed to bed and then to under my dad's desk. I cannot fit all my babies in my mouth at the same time and have to go and collect them all one at a time. The problem with this is that when I leave them alone the little rat that my parents brought home keeps stealing them and running away.  I have been wondering around the house for days whining trying to tell my people that I am distressed. They just pat me on my head and send me on my way telling me that this false pregnancy will pass and that I will soon be alright. I don't feel alright. Today my mom set me up in her bed with my babies and a heating pad for my sore nipples. She even closed the door so Poppy will leave me alone. I do not think that this torture will ever end.      Well it has been almost two weeks and despite my doubts I am back to normal. I am no longer producing milk and, I do not need my toys as substitute babies anymore. Wow what an ordeal that was.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey day 16 Heads vs. Tails.

Well this new thing is apparently going to stay with us. It now has a name Poppy Ann Bear. I am still weary of it as we are total opposites. For example she is black where I am white. I am long and skinny where she is short and fat. She eats all her food as quickly as she can then makes a beeline for mine. I on the other hand like to take my time eating and play with each and every morsel. I like to eat poop she avoids it at all costs she won't even poop in the same place twice. I am calm and quiet, she is loud and hyper. I only play with socks she plays with everything. I took forever to be potty trained she is already potty trained and even asked to go outside. She also loves the water bath time is play time as for me I cower and hide. Plus she is always following, nibbling and copying me. When I take a drink she takes a drink she then licks the dribbles off of my chin. Whenever, I turn around there she is. I am constantly looking behind myself to see if she is there by then it is too late she has already in front of me biting my ears.

I do have to admit however that despite all of that. This new thing has grown on me. For one thing it likes to play more then KC. I have even discovered, that on many occasions it has worn me out. We like to both play to see who can stick each others head in their mouth. Then we role on the floor and kick our feet at each other in a doggy stile girl fight. Sometimes I will take a sock ball and run sprints back and forth across the living room. She will dash after me and try to steel it. When she does I wonder off as if I don't care. She will then drop the ball to investigate where I am off to. When she does this I grab the ball and do the dash again. As soon as I get tired of out running her. I simply jump onto couch with it where she can not reach me.

In conclusion I guess that since this thing smells alright and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere, I will learn to tolerate it. Well, as long as it stays away from my biscuits.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey day 15 Alien Invasion!

    Oh boy do I have a story for you. Yesterday my family left the den as they often do and I was left alone with my doggy sister. I was hoping this little hunting trip would result in bringing me back some biscuits. Well, to my surprise not only did they not bring me any biscuits they presented me with this other creature. I am not sure that it is safe and despite my best efforts to flee from it, I am constantly being followed. I keep trying to tell my Mom and dad to take this thing back and get me some biscuits but they just give me a scratch and send me on my way.  KC my doggy sister fallows this thing around growling at it with no effect at all. It just goes under her legs and toddles off on its marry way witch is usually strait for me. I have found however that it cannot walk on the hard ground only the soft so I stay in these areas of the den and observe it from a distance. This stranger is loud, bothersome and it gets to go out the forbidden door into the big play area. I don't like it at all and wish it would just go away.

 

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 14 Snow Day

Woo, ho, something fantastic happened this stuff fell from the sky and covered the ground. My Mom calls it snow but I call it fun! I love to play in it. First of all if you stick your nose in and run forward you can push it ahead of you to make a path and find hidden treasures. This is method is a great way to get around but my favorite way to get from one place to another is leaping because the landing is so soft and squishy. I never want to go back in the house I do however because I have a weakness for biscuits and when I hear that box rattle I always come running. My mom has even given up trying to force me to eat my food in a specific location. She has given me a bowl that I can carry to anywhere I choose to eat. This too is delightful as I can toss the food and chase it, then with a great pounce capture it and devour it. This makes eating so much more fun and I no longer try to hide my food under my blanket. As I finish writing this entry all my beloved snow is gone leaving me only with mud to slush through this I don't mind it is the being stopped at the door to get my feet and belly rubbed down with a towel. I do not understand what I did wrong? I was just trying to thank them, honest. I did not mean to get paw prints all over the carpet, couch, counter, and my dads white shirt. Just look into eyes to see I'm telling the truth.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 13 Dog on the Go!

  Well, I have been a very busy girl, as I have now been off my potty training leash for a little over two months. During,  this time I have found that my house is a great place to explore. First of all, there are many tall plates were I have found a plethora of food. All of which I attempt to sample by standing on my hind legs then pulling the food down to a suitable height for consumption. I have also found tasty nuggets provided by my next discovery. There is another four legged creature much like myself in the house, with whom I am very frustrated. You see despite my best efforts to get this thing to play with me it simply refuses. I have even brought this creature presents of tasty socks but my only rewarded for this gallant effort is a painful swat across my nose. This has not deterred me in the least bit however, I think I will continue to bark and taunt this strange creature but only from a safe distance.
    The next best thing about been off is that I get to sleep on the soft couch and anyone who happens upon me will stop and give me love. I will return this by standing on my hind legs and stretching up as far as I can. My dad calls this giving doggy hugs and I am usually rewarded with my new favorite word biscuit. I would do anything for those tasty morsels.
    Now don't get me wrong it is not always good to be running about. I seem to get into a lot more trouble. I am not allowed to run out the front door, eat off the tall plates, snack from the cat box, chew the other kids toys and must never touch the remotes and other plastic things, around the house. These are bed offenses. I am confined to my bed again until the next meal and potty time. These times of exile are well worth it however because of all the fun and love I enjoy while I am off.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 12 Really Bad Day!

Let me tell you about the worst and best day of my life. Up to this point my  my life has been very simple for potty training proposes I have been hooked up in the front hall and I have spent most of my days and nights there. This is not so bad as my family always makes an effort to come and give me lots of pets as often as they can. This brings me to the bad part of my story. As, I may have said in a previous entry food is boring. I usually dump it out and bury it to find it later just to keep it interesting. This is a mild annoyance to my mother who worries that I do not get enough to eat because nine times out of ten my doggy sister eats my stash before I have a chance to get around to eating it.  The problem was that without my parents noticing I developed a small tare in my tummy from a free busy bone that was found in my dog food bag. This made it impossible for me to eat it hurt so bad that I just stopped eating all together. This is not a good thing as ones body needs nutrition to survive. Since this was not being acquired I collapsed and my mother had to rush me to the doctor. 500 dollars and a lot of shot pain later the Vet could not tell my mother what was wrong. When she brought me home she gave me some stake knowing that no matter how bad I felt I could not resist being hand fed some steak. I yelped and spun around letting her know right away that eating hurt. From that point on I got a dropper full of yucky pink stuff then a bit of thin sliced steak. After one week  of this I am now once again eating chow like a champ.  The best part of this whole deal is that I am no longer confined to the front hall as I am much calmer and I go outdoors to do my business. I had to endure great pain but now I am free to roam the house which means lots of petting whenever I come into the room. I hope I never have to go through pain like that again but I am happy for the opportunity to hang out with my family all of the time.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 11 Yummy wall board!

 My people mom is not very pleased with me. I am not sure what I have done wrong. You see when I get board I chew I am a dog after all right? I have managed to chew a considerable sized hole in the wall. I have been busy trying to make it as big as I can. It is great I can almost stick my whole head in there. Every time mom catches me she yells at me and tells me that I am a naughty dog. I try to obey  but it is there taunting me maybe there is something back there to eat or play with. Mom just put something hard there that I cannot chew through drat and I was so close too.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey day 10 Ear Cleaning Day!

Yesterday was ear cleaning day again. My sister has to wear a cone on her head until the ear medicine is dry.  I should not have laughed at her but she kept walking into walls and when she tried to get a drink the water bucket got it stuck on her head. You see my doggy sister got an ear infection recently.  When my adopted mom cleaned them KC got all upset and scratched it so much that she broke a blood vessel in the ear it swelled up like a balloon. When the blood receded it became all shriveled up like a cauliflower. So when my mom cleaned my ears this time I just stood there grinning at her when she was done I gave her a slobbering kiss right on the lips for her efforts and she gave me a bone. She said if that I am always this good when she has to play vet at she would give me a special treat and I will not have to wear the cone. So in closing some friendly advice. Take the weekly ear cleaning with stride it will save you a lot of suffering in the long run.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 9 Happy Birthday Mom

  Today is my adopted moms 31st birthday on your birthday you are supposed to have things done for you instead she is doing a lot for me. This morning she got up early and let me out when I whined. She gave me an extra scoop of food with out me having to ask. She spent a few minutes with me in my bed just sitting there hugging and petting me. I guess she just wanted attention from me. I was more then happy to give it to her.
I even presented her my belly to rub. She just laughed and said I knew exactly what she needed to feel better. I am not sure what I did I was just being me but I was happy to help.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 8 Meet my family

Today I will tell you a little about my adopted doggy sister KC the vet said that her mother was a Black lab and her father was a Dalmatian Her name is short for cheep chicken. She is a rescue dog my people dad almost hit when she ran across the highway. He stopped on the shoulder and tried to get her into the car but she stood at the edge of the woods and barked at him. He got back into the car and took the next exit were he stopped at a McDonalds a bought a 99 cent chicken sandwich. He got back on the highway and found her always down he stopped the car and opened the car door. He held out the chicken KC bounded over and jumped into the car without further hesitation. After consuming the chicken she slept in the crook of his arm the rest of the way home and has been part of this family for eight years. If you were to ask my adopted mother to describe KC she would state the following: A lovable hairy, hungry, huge, and stinky beast.  First of all lovable she is great to play and wrestle with as long as you leave her alone when she is sleeping. Next hairy at least I am not the only one getting in trouble for shedding all over the couch. So what if she is always hungry she always cleans up the bits of food that I do not want and I can play with her while she is doing it. My favorite part is the huge I can use her back as a springboard to jump over and onto of things that are normally too high for me. As for the stinky name me one dog that is not just that. Well that about t sums up my doggy sissy as long as you leave her alone while she is sleeping she is great fun and I am learning a lot about being a big dog.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 7 It is great to be a dog

I am so sorry for be so slow in writing when you do not have any fingers or thumbs it is hard to type.  Now do not get me wrong paws are great. With them they you can hold down toys or your food and give hugs. My favorite thing to do is walk through the mud and then print all over the newly cleaned house. I believe that it is great being a dog and since you are already here I'll tell you a little bit about it.
     Let me start at my head. The first thing you will notice about me is my nose. Unlike a beagle it is long and rounded. This feature is good for finding discarded, food, socks, and anything else I can hold in my slobbering, drooling, tong infested mouth. Next are my eyes they can be very useful for finding the above, mentioned goodies. They also look great when you squint with your head tilted to the side. I have found that this pose will get you a lot of attention if combined with my next feature my ears. These can be both bad and good. Some Pros they flap like propellers in the wind when I am running or stick my head out of the car window. If I fold them down and walk backward while my parent is walking forward I can wiggle out of my collar. Some of the more obvious cons are that since they are so long (mine are 20 in from tip to tip). Things tend to get tangled up in them including but not limited to my feet causing me to tumble. Also Bugs think that they are great place to hang out. For example recently I had two ticks in my ears that my mom had to pick out. She said I was so brave for just sitting there letting her. Next since they are so long they tend to get infected when this happens they smell like sour dough and itch so bad I can hardly stand it. When this happens some has to come with a wipe and clean them I do not like that at all.
    To complement my amazing head is body that is all girth. Despite my large size I am very agile. You will typically find me on top of a table, on the back of the couch or flying through the air as I bound along barely even touching the ground.      Last but not least there is my tail this is my best feature in my opinion because it is so expressive. When I am sad or scared I can tuck it between my legs. When I am bored I can chase it. When I am happy I can wag it side to side or when I get really exited around and around like a propeller.
    So in short I think that despite the fact that I do not have fingers I am a very wonderful creation and someone out there knew just what they were up to when they made me. Thanks for reading.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 6 I have to go Potty!

 Today I would like to talk about the art of going potty. I seem to recall that my ancestors were wolves right? They roam free eat what they want play with what they want and do there business were ever and whenever they felt the need. In the last thousand years us dogs have sacrificed a lot so that you people could have companionship. Now do not get me wrong I like the cushy pillow life as much as the next dog but you people have to understand were we are coming from. I have to be taught were and when I should go braking me of the natural behavior of going when I feel like it. I know that it may seem like I am purposefully going were you are sure to step on it in with your barefoot but believe me I am just going when the mood strikes. I usually tell you before hand that I have to go. I whine, go stand at the door, sit on your lap and grin, fallow you around and get under your feet. It is not my fault if you miss interpret my signals. Next I am all about reward for deeds well done. If you praise me when I do well and appeal to my other instinct of eating what I want I will return the favor. Just because I am a dog dose not mean I do not want to be in a give and take relationship. To sum up I just want to say that we do not know that you want us to go outside you have to retrain us were and when it is appropriate. Teach us that the house is the den and we need to mark outside keep an eye on us we will usually let you know. When we do what you want give us good love and we will continue to go outside to get it because that is why we were domesticated in the first place we just can not live without those belly rubs.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 5 To eat or not that is the question.

   Let me talk today about food. When it comes food my mom calls me the silliest basset ever. You see I find food terribly boring so everyday I spill my chow on the floor then I bury it in my blanket.  I do this for several reasons. First I do not like putting my head into a bowl. Second it gives me a challenge of finding each piece. Thirdly my sissy will come and try and it and I can play with her, and finally it drives my mom crazy.
    Now don't get me wrong not all food is boring I love people food. I would never let my sissy eat my steak scraps or my chicken gristle. It is just chow that bothers me it is not flavorful, and it gets stuck in my cheeks and everyone is always telling me to just eat it.  I have seen my human brothers and sisters do the same types of things with their green beans. Hide them under napkins, feed them to my doggy sister under the table, and push them around their plate until they are to cold to eat. I just do not understand what the problem is as long as I am healthy it should not matter how I eat my food right?

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 4 Oh No Bath!

    Mom got my sister and I wet on purpose today. She said that we needed a baths after being in a strange place for a couple of days. I went first it was OK I did not like getting my tail wet though and I paid mom back by giving her a big soapy bear hug. (He Ha) When I was done it was my sisters turn she did not want to get in the tub my mom had to heft her in I sat down and stared at them with my head to the side with a big grin on my face at least I was not the only one getting wet. Wile my mom was washing KC I got into mischief I put the toilet paper role on the wet floor then tore it to shreds and I dropped the toothpaste tube into the toilet. When we were done mom dried us with warm towels sissy's back is all curly and puffy. My sissy and I wanted to go outside right away but my mom said oh no you don't you are not going out to role in the dirt. I wasn't going to do that honest. (Wink)

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 3 Doggy Daycare

The other day my family went on a trip they took my sister and me to a doggy daycare. Mom said I could go with them when sissy is no longer there she is just to big and old to go on a long car ride and stay in a hotel. I like the daycare we get treats three times a day and I get to run in a field after I eat. I tell you though I was really happy when my dad brought me home. I like going out but I like coming home better.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 2 Big Adventure

 I had a grand adventure the other day my normal space to run got bigger. My sister showed me a hole in the wall of our play area and we both went running.  After only a few moments my sister was no longer with me she was standing at the door asking to come in old ones they never want to have any fun. Myself on the other hand, I was so happy I bounded around running this way and that. Wow I was having a great time then I heard something. Was that a whistle? Oh Man! My mom was calling me I really did not want to go. I sniffed one more time at a tasty looking morsel then bounded toward my mom the smell from the morsel was to much I bounded back to it snatched it up and ate it as I ran. I jumped into my mom’s arms and shared my new find with her face as I licked her all over. What a happy day that was.

Diary of Matilda the Sock Monkey Day 1 Hello World

  Hello, my name is Matilda the Sock Monkey. I am an one year old basset that lives in Tennessee. (Ok you had me at hello this is my ghost writer my mom We decided that since this place gets a little stale at times that something needed to be done about it. My mom suggested that she writes about me as if I am writing a diary, as every young girl should.)  Any way as I was saying I live in Tennessee not a bad place for a dog to live. So far not to bad of weather except for the occasional rainstorm but I do not mind those because they make the grass grow and I love to eat grass. For the most I love being outside and I will take my own sweet time coming when my mom calls me. Sometimes though my mom will let me out first before she lets out my older sister KC when that happens KC forgets who I am and barks at me like I am a stray dog that makes me sad. The funny thing is as soon as we are back inside she wants to play and have fun that is until she gets to tired and lays down she is after all eight years old.

 Well that is a quick introduction to me I hope you enjoyed it. If so please let my mom know so that we can work on the next installment.